Trump Accidentally Bans Wife.

Saying, “She didn’t tell me she was going shopping,” president Trump said he wished his wife well, but that the First Lady would not be allowed back in the country after she finished her Dubai shopping trip because of his new U.S. immigration law’s “three strikes” rule. In addition to trying to enter the U.S. from a “hibby jobby” country, the First Lady is also not a U.S.-born citizen and has a funny sounding last name.

“The timing of the immigration ban had nothing to do with the fact that Mrs. Trump would be out of the country,” said Reince Priebus, White House Chief of Staff. “It’s totally coincidental. President Trump is in no way tired of the First Lady’s nagging and getting her out of his hair was not the reason for the speed with which the immigration ban was signed. Honest.”

When told that the First Lady had flown to Canada, entered the U.S. from that country and was now downstairs, president Trump responded, “Shit, I gotta go,” saying to Priebus, “Tell Ivanka to hold off on the curtains.”